Sometimes I seriously don’t get it.

Ok… I frequently don’t get it. I don’t get the Kardashians*, Jordan, X-Factor and Justin Bieber but you know I don’t have to. If you get it/them – then enjoy. My Dance & Musical obsession is probably not your thing.
Like how I don’t like Twilight** but come between me and Sunshine and I will get nasty.

Point is: To each their own.

Why waste hours trying to convince people you are right and when that doesn’t work spend days ripping them to pieces? You’re just making an ass of yourself.

*A I had to look up how to spell their name & B I still wanted to type Cardassian
**I have read it & seen it
Disclaimer: This is not about me, it’s something I’m watching unfold outside of Writerland.

Her mother was dead.
She wasn’t coming back and everything would change.

That little girl was me and I was right. In the two years that followed my reality got turned on its head. My father died 18 months later after my mum and I went to live with family in another country.

In the space of two years I lost a happy childhood and began living in a world of grey. Broken and unable to find common ground with those around me I dived into books, they kept me safe and they understood but with each year that passed I forgot more about the laughing independent don’t-mess-with-me mother I loved and the quiet but generous father.

Every time I thought of my father I thought about how I’d failed him. How I hadn’t managed to make it work and how me being the carer* had broken our relationship – so I stopped thinking about him and with that I stopped remembering all the good things.

It wasn’t until I was 21 that I managed to rebuild myself – but by that stage I’d lost so many memories.

Think about that for a moment.

*My father was registered 100% disabled. After my mum died I did the cooking, washing, shopping, etc. Looking back at it now, at that age I was in no way able to cope with all of this but while logic says it wasn’t my fault I still wish I could go back and fix that.

Marieke:
I remember walking past a hospital room one day. The room appeared to be sealed off and its white walls and sterile smell didn’t fit in the otherwise colourful children’s hospital. The people inside wore gowns and gloves to keep the risk of infection to a bare minimum.

It looked like the scene from a thriller – Outbreak, or something.

Instead, what I saw were the effects of a bone marrow transplant. I remember staring at the room while the whole process flashed around in my head. A transplant meant harvesting marrow through a needle in your hip. It meant severe chemotherapy to destroy all the remaining marrow in your body. It meant not knowing what would happen next.

I don’t remember if the patient was a boy or a girl, I just remember standing there, aged 12, thinking it might be me.

Up to that point, I’d spent a lot of time in several hospitals; after that moment, I’d spent even more time in medical care because my immune system was doing everything it shouldn’t and nothing it should. Standing outside that room is one of many memories that would forever stay with me. The others? Going to a sea aquarium with other patients. Being allowed to wander around the off-limits section of a military airport (hey, I’m a geek!). Ice cream on an afternoon away from the hospital. Singing along on the top of my voice to Meat Loaf songs at the hospital school’s dance. The colours and laughter of a family room.

Because the only thing that outweighs not knowing if tomorrow is still there is living today to the fullest, together with family and friends. The charity Donna’s Dream House gives children and teens with life-threatening diseases the chance to make those memories and live those dreams. At least, it did. Until right before holidays, part of the main building was torched beyond repair.
They were forced to cancel Christmas for the families set to stay there.

Think about that for a moment.

The reason Write Dreams is so important is because the faster we get Donna’s Dream House back on its feet the faster we can help another family build important memories. Memories that will help those left behind carry on, and memories that will bring a smile to those kids that know they won’t have much time left.

Please visit Write Dreams, we have so many wonderful donations and you are helping in ways that can’t be expressed in words.

So to entice you into bookmarking WriteDreams 2012 for Monday, let me share just a handful of these. We have:

A full signed set of Tabitha Suzuma’s books
All of Alyson Noël’s Immortals series with some awesome swag
Waterstone’s Children’s Book Award-winning Artichoke Hearts
Signed books from Marcus Sedgwick
Something from Michael Morpurgo
ARCs, critiques, and much more…

WriteDreams will last for 2 weeks so there is plenty more to come.
Oh and plenty of virtual cupcakes to keep you going. ^_-

I did an interview for Rach Writes explaining a little more about why WriteDreams is so special.

See the day after I signed up for the new round I was chatting with my BWB and the subject of Donna’s Dreams House came up.

Me: “You remember Write Hope? Think we could do it again?”
BWB: “Sure.”

One week later and Nozomi is back!

You want to click it. You know you do ^_-

With that in mind my ROW80 goals are month specific…
January is for Write Dreams, moving & completing my new outline for Hell. From February the goals will be in regards to editing my Nanowrimo draft and starting on Hell.

For all of you good luck and enjoy your ROW80!

For reason that will become clear I have decided to postpone my giveaway. I will move it to March to coincide with my birthday and new home. The money I had for the prize will be donated to Donna’s Dream House.

On the 21st December 2011 Donna’s Dream House was deliberately set on fire. The physical damage is substantial; the emotional impact reaches far beyond that.

Donna’s Dream House provides free holiday for children and teenagers with life-threatening illnesses and their families as well as recently bereaved siblings and their families. The charity is well known locally and just two weeks ago I’d told my family I was going to clear out the toys from my loft for a new charity shop they were planning.

Because of the fire Donna’s Dream House has been closed until further notice. As their own website states: Christmas was cancelled! For some of the families booked in this holiday season is might well turn out to be the last Christmas. And that is what I can’t get my head around.

Were the laptops, camera and TV really worth destroying that?

I don’t think I’m the only one with this problem, in light of this:

I will give you whatever book you want.

I should rephrase that, I will give you whatever book (that is available on the Book Depository and I can afford) you want. There are always restrictions aren’t there? I’m sorry… basically if you win you can pick any title for up to $20** on the Book Depository and it’s yours.

Rules are simple; you get an entry for commenting, one for tweeting and five for blogging about it and telling me what books make you dance with joy OR why books are awesome presents?

Closing date is the 31st December 2011 and winners will be announced the 3rd January 2012 because that’s when I should be back home.
Contest is international provided the Book Depository ships to your country.

Please see this post as to why I’ve postponed the giveaway.

*He’d only just come out of hospital so I’m assuming his head wasn’t quite right at the moment of saying this…
**I’ve increased the amount from the previous post mainly because I actually got paid this week so I can!

I should have disposed of it upon my arrival but at the time I couldn’t afford a new one so I’ve just been giving it dubious looks these past two years. Then during my manic cleaning spree on Thursday I looked at it and decided it needed to go… I have wished for a new toaster for Christmas** after one family member told me that “books” weren’t sufficient as an option. WHAT? After all these years how can they still not understand…

Curiouser and curiouser!

For the past year I have walked past the door of Storytellers Inc, or more accurately sat on the bus as it went past and always thought “I must visit”, today I did. After finishing the Christmas shopping I discovered my new favourite place. It’s what I wish I had as a kid, because while big chains and internet shopping has perks, its shops like this that make you all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Euphoria was added when I discovered Jennie by Paul Gallico on a shelf. A brand new copy, it’s back in print! It is finally back in print! Cue much excitement.

To celebrate this, my new Wonderland and thinking I am not the only one who has family that doesn’t consider “books” a viable Christmas present I will be hosting a small giveaway.

Have a mince pie while I explain…

I will give you whatever book you want.

I should rephrase that, I will give you whatever book (that is available on the Book Depository and I can afford) you want. There are always restrictions aren’t there? I’m sorry… basically if you win you can pick any title for $10(ish) on the Book Depository and it’s yours.

Rules are simple; you get an entry for commenting, one for tweeting and five for blogging about it and telling me what books make you dance with joy.

Closing date is the 31st December 2011 and winners will be announced the 3rd January 2012 because that’s when I should be back home.
Contest is international provided the Book Depository ships to your country.

Please see this post as to why I’ve postponed the giveaway.
*My own rule, I can’t do anything about “Candy” or the new idea I’ve had for “Hell” so pretending it’s not there means I don’t get frustrated. It makes sense in my head.
** Not quite brave enough to chuck it before Christmas I’ve left it hiding in the corner, jic.

I then made myself a cup of tea and ate some chocolate before posting the messy first draft to my cheerleaders* in my writing group – because I promised them I would and yes I’m terrified as I hasn’t even skimmed over what I’ve written these past 30 days.

So what about you?

* Marieke, Rachael Harrie & Amanda Milner who are awesome and THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Thinking about it I was a bit surprised because I was convinced it would be Sunshine by Robin McKinley – which is and will probably remain my favourite book. It’s the one that cheers me up no matter what and has been read too many times to count. It’s like a medicine, which given I’m full of a cold right now is apt but when I actually thought about it it’s not the one that I’m the most grateful for.

I was twelve when I read Märchenmond all the way through, I had started it once before but it was too long and I gave up after the first chapter. The hero is a boy and I didn’t much like boys… My parents had bought it for me after someone at school had raved about it, though now I seem to remember that was The NeverEnding Story* – they are somewhat similar I suppose.

Bizarrely I was in England when I began reading it, it was Christmas and I was sitting in a rocking chair while the remainder of my family was in church and my father as upstairs sleeping. By that stage he probably wasn’t well enough to have travelled to the UK but I’d refused to spend the first Christmas after mum had died alone with him and my older sister.
(Disclosure: Our family is very large, broken and very confusing to go into details would make this entry about three times as long and make me sound like I’m having a pity party. Yes that Christmas was awful and I hated Christmas for years after but I like it now. )

With nothing to do and bored I began following Kim on his adventure. I don’t remember how long it took me to finish, I’m sure it was a few days as I wasn’t a fast reader back then. That Christmas was the last one I would spend with my father, he died a few months later and I moved from Germany to England.

All of this sounds awful and why am I blogging about it?
Well because Märchenmond was the first time a book helped me. After that I found comfort in many more stories but it was Märchenmond that made my twelve year-old self forgot where she was and for that I’m very grateful.

 *that’s Die unendliche Geschichte to me, if you’re interested.

FYI – the book has been translated!

Being a Nanowrimo newbie I wasn’t really sure how it was going to work out and the first 3 days didn’t bode well. I returned to work to find someone had constructed a new building with all the stuff that was supposed to have been done the day before yesterday. Then got a phone call about another job, ‘Yes we’ll move you to another country but can you first take a few tests?’
I hate tests, I really hate aptitude tests*, I really really hate timed aptitude tests…

By Thursday night I had about 2000 words, very little sleep and a headache that needed its own pillow.

So not a good start then.

Friday was my day off and I glued myself to my keyboard playing catch-up, I was still there by Saturday night and crossed the 10,000 milestone 41 minutes before midnight! Hurray!

At some point on Saturday I remembered that I have a concert to get to tonight and that I needed to make brownies. I’ve never really baked anything but brownies seem to be important in my story so I thought I should at least see how hard they are to make. Seems a bit extreme for one paragraph but it’s chocolate so… it’s chocolate!

What have I learned? That there really is such a thing as too much chocolate (trust me), because my flat smells like a bakery and I can’t eat another bite.
And YouTube really can teach you something

*select which box doesn’t fit in which column – wtf?!